Nearly A Month Between Posts These Days

Hi to all!

School schedule and work are keeping me from spending any personal time blogging or doing anything else that I enjoy.  We're kind of stalled on the garage.  My dad is tied up taking care of my mom and there are vacations and all such manner of things.
Spock is growing like a weed.  He's close to 30 pounds now.  He was only 5lbs when we picked him up from OHS.  He's healthy and happy.  His favorite new toy is a frisbee.  Man that dog can run and jump.
Sarah started swim lessons this week.  She's the oldest, the tallest, and the least experienced in the water. I hope she enjoys it.  It's such an important part of growing up!
I gotta finish getting ready for work (which is amazing).
I hope you have a great day!
I love you my friend!

I Keep Telling Myself This is Only Temporary

I'm sure not everyone has the same take on life that I do.
This week has been an absolute blur.
I worked 6.5 hours of overtime last week.  That made it slip by.  This week there will be no overtime because I'm a new employee and you have to be with the company for 6 months to see the benefits of a holiday weekend.
It was good.  I spent the whole Fourth of July weekend in the backyard trying to make it habitable by humans.  It was barely habitable by Spock.  Now I'm not ashamed to invite a friend over for a beer or a bbq.
Spock has really come into his own.  He is taking his place as the protector of Sarah and I.  Tonight he was guarding the backdoor.  He was fierce in his protection of us from some unknown shadow he saw. Do dogs imagine movements?  I know they anticipate them.  Anyone who has ever thrown a ball to a dog knows they can anticipate your every flex of muscle. I don't know what Spock saw but he went berserk barking at it.  As soon as he thought the danger was gone he came downstairs and climbed in bed with Sarah and snuggled up against her.  Love is simple and basic between a girl and her dog.
Glad to still have you here!

Crazy-Busy

So life appears to be a whirl-wind.  I've had at least one hour of overtime every day for the last 2 weeks.  The warmer it gets, the faster the refrigeration units fail if they are limping along.  Then everybody has an emergency because ice cream will melt, strawberries will mold, and flowers will wilt. Such is the life that is mine.
The hubster isn't adjusting to my new schedule as well as I thought he would.  He liked me being at home more and doesn't like the added pressure to his already chaotic schedule.  I'm sure it will be better when....  Don't I always say that though?  This is pretty much the same schedule I was running at FM, but the big difference is OT now.
I deactivated my Facebook account a couple of weeks ago.  Part of me really misses it because I was able to see everyone's pictures and what they were doing.  Now I have to rely on email and the truth is - no one writes to me except my dad.  His stuff is pretty funny though.
10 pm comes early; 5 am also comes early.  There's a long weekend in my future.  I'm hoping for Sunday morning sun to hike the falls.  I know it will be packed, but Sarah's never seen it and I wanted her to hear the legends and see if she can see the princess in the mist.
The Gorge is beautiful this time of year.
Did I tell you that Chris and I are both in school?
Yup - this is a crazy-busy life.

Can you feel the changes forming?

I tell myself that life is in flux all the time.  Nothing is permanent.
I started dancing two weeks ago. Every Saturday.
I was officially accepted to WP.
I started working more OT.
I ran with the dog last night. It wasn't much but it was a start.  Ankle has finally healed.
I'm crabby because I have more expectations of others than they are capable of.
I'm crabby because I don't get enough sleep.
A.D.D. dogs and owners don't always mix.
I'm restless and want more. More what?
Life always has more questions than answers.  Now I just need to find them.
The question is - What do you want?

One Month To The Day

Once again insomnia is my bed partner.
I started a new job and changed colleges, so there are many things that have me uneasy.  These things don't mesh well with sleep.
The job seems to be all-too familiar.  Its nearly the same job I had a few years back, but smaller scale and no psycho cube-neighbor. Nice because I understand what most of what the techs are doing.  As far as entering their time on the job sheets and making sure the right hours get charged to the right job, it's pretty much the same (just different codes and people instead of vendors).  There is also someone there who understands this is where the profitability is; I can ask questions at this job without fear that I will get screamed at by the psycho.  Amazing. Oh and the boss wanted to know if I could start coming in early and staying late (including Saturdays) starting next week.  That didn't take long.  So glad to be in a place where I feel wanted and appreciated.  It's going good.
As far as the reason I changed colleges goes - I was feeling the pressure of wanting to have this completed. I feel kinda like I've played at this degree without enough direction.  I seriously thought about completing it at PSU, but the thought of paying for parking would kill me.  Warner Pacific is nearly the same distance without downtown traffic.  I also don't have anyone to compete with at WP.  My boys (graduating with honors) footsteps are too big to follow in.
Yeah - I know I'm not competing for anything, but I also didn't want to compare my experience with theirs.  They don't have kids and full-time jobs.  That's enough to make you settle for "B's" for grades.  I don't want straight A's.  I just want to complete my degree.  I want to be done.  I want that damn piece of paper to hang on my wall.  I need it for me.  Sure, I could have gone to the degree mill and bought one but what would that have done for me?  NOTHING.  I want to work for it.  I need the sense of accomplishment.
That being said, I'm starting to get sleepy.  Sweet dreams to you.
By the way, It's been a month to the day since my last post.  I haven't forgotten you.
Love you.

The Work Continues

Today started out very much like any other day in the last year.  I had men working on my garage.
The siding is being put up now.  The difference between now and three months ago, is that Mr. Y is home from Afghanistan.  There is no conversation devoted centering around his safety.  That conversation is saved for my nephew Andy and for Zach.  Packages are being created and prayers said for their safe return.
I'm sure you're wondering why Chris isn't working on this.  Well, he is but not as fast as he would like.  We both have college and Bunny and other obligations that are sapping our time as well as our energy.  There is little time left for the garage; barely enough for the regular household chores that seem to just magnify when they aren't done in a timely fashion.
So - the German, the Irishman, and the Russian are in my backyard with their dogs and they are sharing stories as well as creating a few more to share at a later date.
I am very fortunate to have these men in my life.

Back Into The Groove

Chris is finally back at the bureau.  His first week back is modified duty because he hasn't qualified with weapons in over a year.  The child Abuse Team is attending their annual Child Abuse Summit (a multi-agency cooperative presentation) where different agencies talk about new case law, and how technology is effecting the jurisdiction's ability to perform their tasks and the investigation of new and current cases.  It's all very deep, but he does it with grace and maturity.
We are both in school now, and it's taking some getting used to in order to keep the schedule straight.  He has class on Monday night and I'm in class Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Monday seems to be our frantic day.  Wednesday is the day Sarah has ballet so I just have to leave class half an hour early to take her to class.  Her ballet only meets once per week and mine is twice. It hasn't had any effect that I have noticed.  I seem to be doing fine in that class.  My Word class and Anatomy & Physiology are more difficult.  I'm doing it though.
Things are different in more than one way here at home.  There is the shift of responsibility and who is taking care of what chores.  I remember reading in one of those military magazines that this is very common.  The soldier needs to readjust by falling back into their own roles if they are actively seeking to do so.  Shunning the role is a sign of PTSD.  I have watched for signs and symptoms but have not seen anything so far that would lead me to believe he has any lasting after effects.
There is also the adjustment to Kozmo's passing.  Our beloved dog of ten years was euthanized on March 22, 2011.  He was ill and the vet said it was only going to get worse.  His illness affected his personality and demeanor.  He had bitten both of the girls; thankfully neither of the girls were scarred from the bites.  His loss was difficult for all of us, especially Sarah.  He was there when we brought her home from the hospital and never left her side.  He was her protector and companion, as he was all of ours.  He will truly be missed.
The next adjustment was to filling the void that Kozmo left behind.  Chris and I promised each other from early on in our relationship that if he was in the reserves, we would always have a dog here for protection and companionship.  Finding a dog that would fit into our lifestyle isn't always easy.  I like big dogs.  Chris, on the other hand, likes small dogs.  We wanted something in-between that would be good for car rides and camping.  We also wanted a dog that liked water and swimming.  But above all, we wanted a dog that needed to be saved.  I didn't want to contribute to the ever-growing population of dogs that are just "out there",  I needed to rescue one.  All of our cats are rescues and were saved from sad existences.  One was born in my father's woodpile to a feral mother, and the other was born on a farm to a feral mother.  Both were trapped and "fixed" and brought into our home as kittens.  We wanted to do the same for the dog.  It needed to be a puppy.  What better place to start than the Oregon Humane Society?
On April 15, 2011 I asked my son Billy and his girl friend Meagan and our youngest daughter Sarah to go with me to the OHS because there was a litter of puppies that was transferred there the previous night.  I had seen pictures of the puppies and knew they were all named after the original Star Trek cast.  By the time we arrived at OHS, there were only 2 left.  They looked pathetic.  They were starved and dehydrated.  Both had kennel cough and their skin was dry.  They had also both been neutered the day before.  What a rough start they had indeed. All the more reason for me to take one home and change both of our lives.  His name is Spock.  I took him to the vet three days after we brought him home because the kennel cough was so bad he couldn't stop coughing.  He was given antibiotics and subcutaneous fluids.  The poor guy only weighed 5 pounds and was eight weeks old.  Given his medical state, I was told to bring him back for a follow-up visit in two weeks.  We took him back to the vet after the two weeks had passed and low and behold - he had stopped coughing, gained three pounds and his coat and skin were starting to improve.  It was amazing.  He was now healthy enough to resume his required immunizations.  We did it.  We adopted a puppy and transformed our grief-stricken lives.  Spock hasn't learned to bark at the doorbell yet, but there's time.

Saddest Day of My Life in a Long Time

Now that the hubster is home, the rest of the world can fall spectacularly apart.  And, true to form - it does happen.
Billy and I took Kozmo to the vet last night to have him euthanized. There was nothing that could have been done to save him.  Kozmo bit both of the two people that he has been protecting for the last ten years. First he bit Sarah but didn't draw blood.  It was more like he snapped at her and scared the crap out of her.
With Mimi, he bit and drew blood.  Not a ton, but there was enough that I had to make the hardest decision.
Once Mikey, Billy and I were in the room, the vet injected the pentobarbital.  It took less than two minutes for his heart to stop and to leave this world.  I wanted it to be easier than it was.  Now that it's done, everything reminds me of him and there is still a crapload of dog hair that I need to vacuum.
This is depressing.  Sad and I just want it to be over.

Slowing Down

Now that Mr. Y is at home and is more or less adjusted to Daylight Savings Time, we are starting to adjust to each other and the routine we had when he left.  Maybe I should say that I'm adjusting to him being home.  He, however, is now learning what routine Bunny has; where she needs to be dropped off and picked up; what days she has ballet, and when to order hot lunch for the following weeks.
Life is all about the details isn't it?
I got the cast off yesterday.  Feels good to be able to move the foot and wash it.  It's still really swollen, but I'm able to begin weight bearing now.  I have to retrain it to learn to walk on it. I can't wait to get out of the boot.  I know - I said the same thing about the cast.   :)
I haven't broken out in the moon walk just yet, but sometimes I can feel it twitching in the boot to some unheard tune.
Maybe there will be some dancing in my future....
For now we are adjusting to the routines and the presence of each other.
See you on the 26th for the party!  I promise to post pictures we take!
Take care!

Hanging Paintings and Listening to Stories

Today there will be more than one blog posted.
Right now I'm at my mother-in-law's place while my Dad hangs paintings for her.  She had trouble with the drawers of the file cabinet and he fixed it.
Think back about 12months ago...  My husband was getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan and Abuelita's home was full of boxes because she had just moved into her new house and was beginning her new life in Oregon.  The house only had aisles to walk between the boxes and some of the kitchen was together and some of the bedroom.  Her bed was built, her dresser was placed where she wanted it, and the rest of the house was filled with all of her furniture.  Trying to move a four-bedroom house in the tropics to a two-bedroom house in Oregon was more of a challenge than you might think.  Her whole world existed there. 
Little by little, the boxes were moved and unpacked.  Dad moved some, the landscape boys moved some and the rest were un-boxed and articles unpacked and placed in their new location.  Now the whole house (with the exception of a few boxes of clothing in the garage) are unboxed and it looks like a real family lives here.  It's a warm and inviting house.
While my Dad was hanging pictures, I was listening to the stories of where the painting were purchased or (in some cases) commissioned. I love the ones that are of Puerto Rico.  They remind me of the tropics.  I miss the sun and the warm wind and the humidity.  The way the storms would roll over the island was amazing.  We were at the beach in Isle Verde and we could see the storm coming and within a few minutes - it passed.
With Christopher's return, hanging the pictures will again become his responsibility.  Chris and Sarah will come over during the weekend and he will fix stuff that needs to be fixed, move what needs to be moved, and translate what she needs translated.  It is a comfortable routine for both of them.  I look forward to the return of this routine.

Call From Manas

The phone rang this morning and it was a "morale call" from the hubster.  He is in Manas.  He has been there for less than a day (I think) and he was able to have a beer. This was the first beer in months.  In Manas you can have 2 beers per day.  He just wanted some dinner and sleep.  He told me he hadn't slept in two days because of the travel issues he was having (beer + exhaustion = sleep).  Glad he is on the road.
I received a box from Afghanistan yesterday.  He mailed it about 2 weeks ago.  It just seems funny that I would get a box from Afghanistan and he's already gone from there.  Funny that people can move faster than cargo.
The box contains the wireless router he was using, his cards and letters we (the entire family including others in Police Bureau) had mailed to him.  It's hard to believe how much crap he had accumulated while living in a Connex box in the middle of no where.

Coming home for a few hours before he has to drive right back is tough.  Sarah needs to see her Daddy.  I think that he needs to see her just as much as she needs to see him.  Everyday she is asking when Daddy will be home.  Since she has no understanding about linear time, or spatial awareness, this is a really tough concept for her.  A lot of the questions she asks are "will I see Daddy after this bedtime?", or "After this bedtime is it tomorrow?".  The only way I can answer these questions is to try and put myself into her shoes.  Try to understand it from her point of view.
Sorry - ADD again.
He (when I say he, it just means we) will drive home after he arrives at SeaTac.  Since his flight arrives late in the evening; we have to get his bags and drive back home.  It will be early Sunday morning when we get here.  There is no way that Bunny will let him sleep after he's been gone for so long.  She wants to show him her loose teeth, the ones that she lost, and the new ones that have come in to take it's place (along with so many other things!  That's fine.  They can nap together.  He will drive back to the base either late that night or early in the morning for his debriefing.  But - He's in the local area, and we can drive up or he can drive home for weekends.  The call is in the same time zone.  Skype will work better (faster connections speed) and he can call every night.
Better - Almost.

The long journey home

This is the beginning of Mr. Y's journey home.  Chris is scheduled to leave Kabul today.  Wether or not he does has nothing to do with how much he actually wants to come home.   His journey is full of unknowns. Will he get on the flight he was scheduled for?  We hope so.
Unfortunately I will still be in a cast for his return.  He is scheduled to leave Kabul today, which is tomorrow for him.  From there it's my understanding that he will be going to Germany on xx.  His flight from Frankfurt arrives at Sea-Tac on the xx of March at xxxx.  I will be there - cast be damned.

The Power Of A 15 Minute Call

He called me.  You might not understand what a big deal this is, but trust me.  This is a BIG deal.
He's been gone since July.  There are Army wives whose husbands have longer deployments ahead of them, but it seems like a really long time to me.
He called.  I feel like a weight has been lifted.  It was considered a "Morale Call".  We had 15 minutes free to talk.  At the 13 minute mark there was a taped male voice that said "You have two minutes remaining".  We said our goodbyes. Neither wanting to let go.  He needed to sleep.
We were able to talk for 15 minutes.  I'm OK now.
I go through this every time.  It's almost like a mini-roler-coaster ride.  Here is how it feels to me:
(Picture the ascent up) He calls, reassuring me that it's all OK.  Thus begins the journey up.  I'm OK at the bottom of the hill as we climb.  As we get more distance from the last phone call or e-mail, there is a build of stress.  Finally I'm at the top and not sure I can take another day of not hearing from him and he calls.  Thus begins the descent.  I'm good and I can get through it OK.  Then, after not receiving any communication, we begin the ascent again.  The next communication received is an email and the descent begins again. It's just worry over what we have no control over and fear of worst case scenarios.
Thus goes this ride over and over.
There is an end.  He'll come home.  This will have it's own set of anxieties with it as well.  We'll talk about this in the coming weeks.  There is a dance involved (not like mythical fairies, but like a changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace).  All the wives and husbands do this dance.  I'm not ready yet.
For right now, I'm still on the comfortable ride back down.
I hope I hear from him again soon.

Feeling Tense

I'm not sure I will post this one.  This is just cathartic for me to write.

A couple of days ago (Friday the 25th) the garage door was installed.  I posted the link to the pictures on this site.  On Saturday Dad played musical cars and we took pictures of the cars in the garage to see not only how they looked, but how they fit in the garage together.  I knew this was something Mr. Y wanted to see.  He wanted to know how much room is in the garage for his projects and the cars together.  This itself isn't making me tense.  I'm tense because I sent him the pictures and he hasn't responded with any sort of communication.  There was a suicide bomber that went off 750 meters from where he was a few days ago. He sent us a message that he was fine and not to worry.  That was a few days ago.  I haven't heard from him in three days.
Mr. Y is an officer and has a desk job at ISAF.  He should be safe (for the most part), but he does have to go outside the green-zone to verify with contractors that they are compliant with their contracts.  This can be dangerous. I'd figured if he was at the base he would have seen the link and emailed something about how he doesn't have time to look but thanks for sending them or they look great we'll talk more later or something. Anything.  Nothing is the worst.
I can't even pace because I'm trapped by this stupid ankle and cast.  I know - breathe.

With the clock ticking, I'm getting more anxious by the minute.  Nothing can happen now.  It's too close. (not to say that anyone should have anything happen, ever).  But, the possibilities are frightening.  This is the way it felt when he was first deployed.  Where the routine was anything but normal and I had to try to figure out how to cope with the anxiety I was feeling.  Right now it's oppressing.  Down-right scary.  So much so that I couldn't sleep last night.  I was so freaked out by everything that I just kept making myself more stressed.  It feels like a viscous circle or ball, winding itself up tighter and tighter.   

Right now the clock's set for him to leave Afghanistan in 6 days.  I'll be able to breathe when he's home with us again.

The Garage Door

https://picasaweb.google.com/104010764583230193749/TheGarageDoor?feat=directlink
Click on the above link to see what we have done today!

You call this snow?

I was so excited to see the snow.   Weathermen sounded loony when they made their predictions, and then changed them 50 times.  It was snowing pretty good outside this morning when I decided to send Chris a message about the snow.  I wished he could have been with me when we woke up to it this morning.  He's just like a kid when it comes to this kind of thing.

Dad was able to take Sarah out this morning right after breakfast to play in the snow before it all started to melt off.  This picture was taken by my neighbor Christi while we were all outside.  These are our daughters in front of her home.  It's a great picture.  They are just over a year apart.  Nice to have a kid next door to play with.
When I was a kid, my next-door neighbor was one of those "mean girls'.  I had a love/hate relationship with her.  I hated her for being so mean to me, but I desperately wanted her to like and accept me.  Once I was an adult and strong enough to stand on my own, then I realized she was never really my friend.  I was just the neighbor-kid she got a kick out of ridiculing for never being with the in-crowd, not having the right clothes, or being in her circle of friends.  You know the type right?  They are the kids that usually come from parents who are better off (acting snooty) and have a nicer house or better "things", and they have some sort of "entitlement" issues.  They feel like they have a right to be snooty to others and justify their actions to themselves.
Anyway - I regressed there for a moment... Sorry.
I was talking about the Mr. Y and the snow. (I have ADD)
I sent Mr. Y a message and within 3 three minutes he called me.  I have always said we are connected.  We have always had a "sixth sense" about each other.   Somehow I knew in the back of my head that the phone would ring and that it would be him.  It was about 8am and there is a 12.5 hour time difference.  I told him about our "little bit" of snow and Bunny playing in it.   He told me there was only a little bit of dirty snow left from the storm they they had a few weeks back.  We caught up for the 13 minutes before the "time-minder" said "You have two minutes remaining" and then we said our I love you's and goodbye.


On a different note - We're counting the weeks instead of the months now.   I have to worry because he is going outside the green-zone  - AGAIN.  My comfort level is demolished -  AGAIN.  I will hold my breath until I hear from him - AGAIN.

Have a great day.

Going Crazy

It's been nearly three weeks since I had the surgery and I am totally trapped by my lack of mobility.  I have the knee-scooter, but it requires someone to carry it up and down the stairs to go in and out of my house.  This isn't easy.  I won't be weight-bearing until somewhere in mid to late March.  Yeah - I know - it seems like forever.  It's not, it just feels like it is.  What would be totally cool is if there was a plywood ramp to the front sidewalk for me to use.  It would have to be so steep that I would be going about 30 MPH when I reached the sidewalk.  WHOO-HOOO!!!  It would be like the indy car race of the knee-scooters.  Of course there is no one here I could race.  Darn!

The knee-scooter is great for getting around my house.  Better on the hardwoods than the carpeting in the basement. Yeah, Dad carries it downstairs at night so I don't fall using the crutches in the middle of the night. Dad and I have been joking that I need a ramp to the basement to get the knee-scooter down the stairs to my room, but this would require I do some sort of acrobatic flip off of the scooter and land in bed.  Yeah - that's what I thought too.  I'm more than slightly uncoordinated. The only way I could stick that landing is if I was an Olympic gymnast.  I'M NOT!!! So much for competitive bed-landing.

As far as the weather goes - there is a forecast for snow this week.  I never expect snow when we get these "winter storm warnings" because nothing ever comes of them.  We live too close to sea level to get snow.  If for some reason we do get it, I will be ecstatic.  There is nothing more beautiful than snow on the ground.  I really like how it sparkles at night from the streetlights.  I'm ready.  I have wood on my porch (yes, I can get it myself even if it takes some doing), I have food in the fridge, and I have my Dad here helping me.  It's going to be OK, I can do this.

Thanks for still being here with me. 

Frankenfoot and Valentines Day

This is pretty intense.  Hope you think it's as cool as I do.
Pretty Valentine and icky pictures of the stitches being removed.  If you are just curious about our weird life,  click this link for some pictures.

Homework, Inspections, and Viruses?

What a day - It (like all of the other interesting weird days) started the night before.  Sarah told me she had homework and when I pulled it out of the "homework folder" it seemed like a lot.  We sat down at the table and started in on the math problems.  There were more than I expected.  After about an hour (maybe a little more) we finished the math.  I took the time to count how many problems she completed, and it scared me. Sarah completed 75 math problems.  How many kindergarteners get that much homework?  It was nuts!

The electrical part, we ordered (and have been waiting a month for) arrived on 2-14-11.  My brother and dad installed it yesterday and dad called for the final framing and electrical inspection (which we scheduled for today).  If you had a professional electrician perform the install, then you would be assured all the bases would be covered.  Since we opted to do this ourselves, we had to know what the rules are for electrical code.  We (I don't mean me though) had to read the books, talk to the inspectors, ask the professionals, and attempt to find out all we needed to know to install it right the first time.  My brother is a genius.  He's done this sort of thing before and we know others who have recently gone through electrical renovations as well, it's what helped us get it completed.  When the inspector checked the garage the last time; he said we needed to replace one of the breakers with a master shut off.  We had to order and install the part before the inspections could be finalized.  Now that this portion is inspected, completed, and signed off on, we can install the door and the siding.  It's getting closer every minute!

Now for the weird part.  Maybe you won't think this is weird but I did.
I was in the process of writing my blog and I decided I needed another picture to replace the valentine one from yesterday.  I went onto the google-image site to find something I liked and all of a sudden the computer display went to a virus screen.  Had I been using a windows-based computer it would have crashed with 12 different viruses and a trojan.  My Mac just sent me a warning, so I called my support folks and they told me the viruses were designed for a PC, not a Mac.  The files were all .exe files and Mac doesn't recognize these.  So grateful for that one.
Just remember - not all the things you find on a search engine are good for your computer.

Valentine's Day 2011

Hello All!
It's about 0730 here and I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers yesterday.  I felt even more impressed that I received them a day early.  It was nice.  What made this even more special was that he sent them from 10000 miles away.  In the middle of the war, while trying to complete his master's program, he thought of me and what this day means to him.  Talk about complicated.  Wow.
Dad and I helped Sarah with her Valentine's cards and to make sure she made some extras for her "church and lunch buddies".  We were told no candy.  Sarah told us the teacher didn't want the kids bringing candy.  I thought Valentine's was all about, CANDY (if you're five)!!!  I figured the kids might get a little out of hand with so much sugar.  I also think V.  day is second in line from Halloween and third in line from Easter (as far as the candy consumption goes). Doesn't every kid load up on candy?  Not just a lover's holiday! Oh well - She will get more than her share, no doubt!
On another note - we ordered the garage door and expect it will be installed in the next couple of weeks.  I will take pictures of that and make sure they are posted on Picasa.  Once the piece for the electrical is done and the door is installed the only thing that needs to be done is the siding needs to be added.  You can't imagine how much work went into this.  It is amazing.  I want to finish the driveway but this will have to wait until there is more money.  Concrete is very expensive and not something you want to try to piece together when you have no experience.  We're not talking about a sidewalk-sized repair, we are talking about literally yards of concrete and we need to dig down four inches and level the surface from the existing driveway to the entrance of the garage.  We'll need to rent a front loader (like we did before) and lay down gravel. It's hard work!  I should ask Z (Mimi's best friend) if he needs something to do while he's home on leave.  This is the guy to call. What took us days to complete he could have done in a couple hours.  The military uses him on a larger scale.
Anyway... I hope all of you have a wonderful day.  Make sure you tell your sweetheart that you love them!

Subpoena

So,  I received a notice from Multnomah County Courthouse.  My first thought was this is a  subpoena from my FM days.  I opened it (and was happy find out) that it was not the case.  I haven't had any interaction with that environment for over five years.
I received a subpoena for jury duty.  I get my stitches out on the 17th of February but will still be in a cast.  Not really a big deal but I'm not sure how I will get past security with a knee scooter.  I'll be bored out of my tree though.  I know - Read a book, do a crossword, a word-find, anything to pass the time.  I'm not going to get picked; you know that right?  You can't be married to my guy (or any of those guys or ladies) and get picked.  I would be thrown off the jury faster than you can say detective.
Well, I'll do my civic duty and show up. If you are downtown on the 10th of March, feel free to stop by and say hi. Maybe we can have coffee at the courthouse.  I'm sure I'll run into a few old friends that have either graduated from the school of FM or the bad guys that used to steal from them.  It will be fun I'm sure.

For the College Students in My Life

Usually Friday is the day where everyone takes a deep breath from the week and looks to the weekend for some well deserved R & R.  Unless you work in the service industry, law enforcement or the medical field, this is true.  The College Students are no exception to this.  They believe as I do - The weekend really is just two other regularly scheduled days.  
With Mimi working in retail (while being a full-time student) she never actually gets a day off.  She's either at work or school.
Billy works at PSU performing scientific wonders (or just some really cool experiments) on Saturdays, but he goes to school Monday thru Friday.  And the chemistry classes he takes; oh my gosh - There isn't a single person I know that can wrap their head around what he reads and understands. Maybe I just need new friends.  LOL!!!
 Michael and Meagan are stressing over grad school and trying to keep up with mountains of reading,  homework, and regular work too.  They're more than full-time students, they both have part-time jobs.  Michael mentors and Meagan works in the transcript office.  There is never enough time to go to the gym or sleep without sacrificing studying.
Tasha may be the odd-man-out this time (even though she is a woman).  This is the first year since kindergarten she hasn't spent the weekend buried in homework.  Now she is writing lesson plans for the classroom, catching up on chores, and spending time with her family and friends.  This is the way her weekend should be.
There needs to be a "weekend" in there somewhere for the students to get a break from the weight of their class loads.
I have to say it though...And I know from experience; when spring break comes, the students (and really all of the students I have ever met) feel overwhelmed by the amount of time we have on our hands.  We cram every spare second we can into catching up on what we feel we've missed. We stay up late, go to the movies, read a non-school book just for fun, get out the Wii, go camping, or just fix something that's been driving us nuts.
We play like kids for a little while until some guilty feeling has us looking at our e-mail and checking to see if our grades have been published, checking to see if we are still wait-listed for that class we need to fill the requirement for graduation.  The other part of us wants to just "get it over with" so we can graduate and have that piece of paper on our wall, so we can get a job, and get settled into the rhythmic routine of our lives.
We're all looking for that ever-elusive weekend.
Find your weekend and embrace every minute of it doing what you need to feel fulfilled.

Frankenstein Foot (And It's Not Even Halloween!)

I know - I should have waited for Halloween to post this but I couldn't resist.
Well - according to the surgeon (the Amazing Dr. Bowen) I now have a very stable right ankle.  Knowing there is a cadaver tendon inside it (performing great feats of stabilization, no pun intended), makes me wonder if I'm going to break out in the moon walk at any moment.

Kind of gruesome!
I won't get the stitches out for another week.  Then I will be moving to a fiberglass cast.  Still off of it for the next 8 weeks.

Dad has been helping me out since I got out of the hospital.  I say that but it really means that he has been here making Sarah's breakfast and her lunch and helping me to stay off it by helping with all of the other chores.  Dad stayed at our home while I stayed with Mom for the first three days after surgery.

I have to be patient.  The worst thing for me would be if I jump the gun and try to be on my foot before it's healed.  I would be no better off than I was a month ago.
Well, since I can't think of anything more witty to say, I will leave you with that ugly image.
I love you all!

OK - It HURTS!

I'm not trying to be a baby about this but it HURTS!
I went to sleep last night and still had the effects of the nerve block.  I was pretty comfortable.  I slept until 8 am and when I woke up it felt so painful.  I felt like the doc had just drilled into the long bone of my leg.  I could feel that he drilled into my foot.  I immediately took 2 of the pain pills he prescribed and wondered if I would be able to control it.  I laid there for a few minutes and thought about what I had just gone through and then I decided I was in charge of this and even though it hurt like a few four-lettered words I know, I wasn't going to let it get the best of me.
With Bunny successfully Kathy's Daycare for the day I was going to make the most of my recovery.  I'm going to do exactly what the doc said: Rest, Ice & Elevation.
I wish Chris was here to take care of me.  I miss him.

Surgery Today

There are so many details I need to share before I go under the knife.
I was trying to give some  of the these to Dad.  One was Bunny's ballet class today  She needs to be dressed for class.  Who was going to do it?  She needed to be undressed to her underwear and I certainly didn't want a non-family member to be the one.  Not that I distrust anyone that I or my children associate with, but I didn't want to place them in an uncomfortable situation.
The look on my Dad's face, when I told him he needed to put Sarah's hair up for ballet, was the look you get when you just asked a construction worker to perform brain surgery. He looked like he was going to freak out. It was priceless.  Sorry Dad. We love you.
I had to look at it from an outsider's point of view: How would you know how all of these things work if you didn't have someone provide the intricate details.  What does Bunny eat for lunch. What is her homework project. What kind of dance shoes does Bunny need and where are they? Are there hair-ties in her dance bag?
The truth is that I'm up and it's 0415 and I'm worrying about these details.  Thank you insomnia.  I've tried like hell to remember everything I can but I'm sure I will miss something.  Let's just hope it's not a life-threatening detail.  I'll try to post pictures later of this reconstruction. Not going to be pretty but maybe I can augment the scar with a tattoo to cover or accent it.
AND yes I will be able to attend the annual testosterone fest in the mountains in October where I can watch the cavemen beat their chests and grunt. Without this surgery I wouldn't be able to walk the trails with my Dad and Mr. Y.  Love you guys!
It will be fine.

It's Monday the 31 of January

Today is the last day of the month.  It might not seem like much but there is a tremendous amount of planning going on for this week.  This week there is a surgery and only 2.5 days of school.  Sarah will go to Kathy's Daycare (I've sang her praises in earlier blogs) for the time she is not in school and ballet.  Payday is tomorrow and that means I have bills to pay and it needs to be done before I'm incoherent for a few days following surgery.  I also need to order an overhead garage door so we can take the UGLY plywood off the outside and get started with the regular siding.  There should be some sort of framing and electrical inspections done this week as well.
If you think this is a walk in the park, you are sadly mistaken.  There are lunches to be made for the pickiest child on the planet. Groceries need to be purchased for the house while I am recuperating at Mom's place. The Jetta needs gas, and I have been searching in vain for a book of stamps so I can mail a valentine card to Mr. Y.  Everything takes so long to get there and I'm not the best at planning ahead.
That's what I'm doing though; planning ahead for the worst case scenarios.  Our worst case scenarios would make most people hide under the covers for fear that something bad could and possibly will happen.  I can't live my life like that.  I have to go on the assumption that things will always work out for the better.
I worry about little things like "if I pick up those pair of crutches, to move them to the attic, am I doomed to fall and need them?"  It's the reason I haven't gotten the mammogram this year of had the blood test to make sure my maintenance levels are ok.  I'm more scared of those things.  An ending (truly nothing more than an eventuality) doesn't scare me.

I wanted to share this

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the

bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time

alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's

for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't...

see it nearly enough.......If ever there is tomorrow when we're not

...together. There is something you must always remember. You are

braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than

you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...

I'll always be with you. Some people search for their entire lives

for what we have and never find it. I won't give up. I'll fight for

you".

Not Sure How Many Days Are Left

Well - the dashboard on my Mac says there are 50 days left.  When I think about it that seems pretty short.  I can't tell you that it's an exact date because there are military variables I have to contend with.  His replacement gets there on March 6th. We'll see if he gets there on time.  The military can be unpredictable at times.  Izzy will have to train him.  Then he needs to take his gear to another country, then head to Germany to make sure he's ok to come home.  From there it's a commercial flight home to Sea-Tac.  My plan is to pick him up at the airport and stay with him for a few days and then he can come home on the weekend.  He's not scheduled to return to the bureau until the 22 of April.  He should have a little overlap due to paydays and such.
50 days seems the shortest and the longest time ever.
Talk to you soon.

OK, I know~ It's Been a While!

There seems to be a certain bit of anxiety in my air this week.
I should have posted earlier but there always seems to be something in the way.
Last night I was sure Al (my wonderful kitty of 13 years or so) was vomiting outside my bedroom door and he staggered into my room and collapsed in my closet.  Please don't think it cruel of me, but I thought if he died, it would be better if he died with me than in a cold unfeeling veterinary office.  I picked him up and listened to his breathing and his heart.  His breathing was a little shallow (I guess because I have never been formally trained in the veterinary arts) but his heartbeat was regular and strong. I held him until I fell asleep.  At some point I must have crawled back into bed but I don't remember it.  I know I was up with him until well after 2 am.  At 615 my internal clock said it was time to get up (either that or it was my need to pee) and my second thought was that if Al had passed away in the night I wouldn't want Bunny to find him that way.  I raised my head from the pillow and he was standing at the edge of my bed purring at me rather loudly.  I let him out of my room because if I needed to pee so did he.  I went to the bathroom and then crawled back into bed and he went about his merry day as if nothing was wrong.  He did the same kneading thing on my skin when I picked him up as he always does.  He ate, drank water, and didn't vomit or anything.  Who knows why things happen the way they do.
On another medical note -
I went to the surgeon a couple of days ago.  Yeah, I know another surgery... He said this would be a two hour operation to rebuild my right ankle.  It will take a couple of guide-wires, 4 screws and a "donor tendon graft" to put it together again.  I've been through the boot and then the brace.  Nothing.  When I pick up my foot when I'm walking it hangs in an uncomfortable way.  I also keep trying to help Bunny practice her ballet and tap steps and it hurts.  Not just hurt, but aches terribly when I sit cross-legged with Bunny or when I drive too.  This happened in the beginning of October. I had to quit school because I couldn't walk the campus for my classes.  I need it to be done already.  It's depressing.  I hate this body.  I am more than happy with my brain, but my body is a whole other issue.   It just lets me down when I need it.  I'm only 43 freaking years old and it acts like I've been skydiving for the last 20 years (no offense Kirk).  All my joints are shot and there is no reason it should have failed.  Not trying to whine, just keeping it real.  I'll keep posting if you will keep reading.
Thanks for being here.

Ballet and Such

Well - as you may have heard I signed Bunny up for ballet/tap lessons at Hollywood Dance at Mr. Y's request.  This is a conversation we have had many times over the last year.  He remembers his sister in her tutu and wanted Bunny to have the same exposure.  I agreed.  Why not right?
Well - she changed clothes in the community girls dressing room and got into her leotard.  I had all the appropriate attire in our special pink adidas bag.  I struggled with her hair.  It's so fine and "slippery" for putting into a bun.  I just left it in the pony and pins.  Thank goodness I wasn't the only mom with her girl in a pony only.
When it came time for the class I was just amazed by the grace of the instructor and Bunny's apparent lack of coordination.  The teacher would tell the students to move in a certain way and Bunny would go the other direction.  I really know she get's it from me.  I know she will be fine after a few lessons, but I know how painfully awkward she is because I'm that way every day.  My poor husband.  H really had no idea when he married me.  Not only am I a nerd, but I'm a clumsy nerd with her head in a book and two left feet!
I was really sick over the last couple of weeks.  I spent a couple of days on the couch and one where I literally couldn't get out of bed.  I didn't realize I could get that sick.  Kinda caused me to reevaluate my priorities.  I didn't clean my house or do anything.  I didn't even cook.  I wondered, if something actually happened to me, how would Bunny be taken care of?  I learned this morning that she can pour her own milk and reach the TV while standing on her tippy-toes.  I have nearly been rendered useless.  I also was too sick to pick out something at the store for her and when she asked me about it I told her I wanted her with me when I did it.  You know what she told me? She said "You know Mom, someday you will have to learn to do these things by yourself."  I just about died!  She has incredible insight for a kid of 5.
Thanks for letting me share this with you.

So Much for Trying to Surprise Him.

After four days with no communications from Mr. Y, I finally received an e-mail from him telling me he had been sick.  He stayed in bed for a couple of days and was dehydrated and had an elevated heart rate and blood pressure.  Funny - I woke up in the middle of the night with a 103 fever and felt horrible too.  Today I have a migraine and feel pretty crappy.  I think I have the flu.  Hope Bunny doesn't get it.
Mr. Y received a communication from USAA (our auto insurance) and it showed the policy change for the new car.  So much for trying to surprise him.
When I feel better I will try to write more.  Right now I feel like crap.
Goodnight/Goodmorning depending on where you are.

New Year's Day

The holidays are officially over now.  This was a quick Christmas.  Not sure why it flew by so quickly, but it did.  I received a beautiful Pandora bracelet from Chris. The kids got me cool things also.  Marissa and Zack gave me a pair of aqua globes to keep the plants watered.  Michael & Tasha gave me a necklace and earrings set.  They are black and silver.  Colors I really like together.  Billy & Meagan gave me a mini cupcake maker.  I can't wait to play with it and make muffins or cupcakes.
It was good to see Z here with Mimi.  They're good friends and she missed him while he was in Afghanistan.  That was a good present.
New Year's Eve passed without any "official" celebration because Sarah was sick.  She's been sick for a week.  I hope she's better by the end of the weekend because school starts back up on Monday.
Yesterday I thought it would be the best idea to buy another car.  Christopher and I have talked about it for the last several months.  The lease would expire in May and we hadn't quite figured out what to do to address it. I decided a car with a better resale value would be the wise choice.  I loved my silver Jetta, but I would have loved one with leather and a sunroof and alloy wheels and the touch-screen system. I got it this time.  I haven't told Mr. Y. yet.  I want to surprise him with it in Seattle.  He'll be pretty excited.
Thanks for letting me tell you all of these things.  There are so many details that I'm going to leave out for now. :)