It's Monday the 31 of January

Today is the last day of the month.  It might not seem like much but there is a tremendous amount of planning going on for this week.  This week there is a surgery and only 2.5 days of school.  Sarah will go to Kathy's Daycare (I've sang her praises in earlier blogs) for the time she is not in school and ballet.  Payday is tomorrow and that means I have bills to pay and it needs to be done before I'm incoherent for a few days following surgery.  I also need to order an overhead garage door so we can take the UGLY plywood off the outside and get started with the regular siding.  There should be some sort of framing and electrical inspections done this week as well.
If you think this is a walk in the park, you are sadly mistaken.  There are lunches to be made for the pickiest child on the planet. Groceries need to be purchased for the house while I am recuperating at Mom's place. The Jetta needs gas, and I have been searching in vain for a book of stamps so I can mail a valentine card to Mr. Y.  Everything takes so long to get there and I'm not the best at planning ahead.
That's what I'm doing though; planning ahead for the worst case scenarios.  Our worst case scenarios would make most people hide under the covers for fear that something bad could and possibly will happen.  I can't live my life like that.  I have to go on the assumption that things will always work out for the better.
I worry about little things like "if I pick up those pair of crutches, to move them to the attic, am I doomed to fall and need them?"  It's the reason I haven't gotten the mammogram this year of had the blood test to make sure my maintenance levels are ok.  I'm more scared of those things.  An ending (truly nothing more than an eventuality) doesn't scare me.

I wanted to share this

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the

bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time

alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's

for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't...

see it nearly enough.......If ever there is tomorrow when we're not

...together. There is something you must always remember. You are

braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than

you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...

I'll always be with you. Some people search for their entire lives

for what we have and never find it. I won't give up. I'll fight for

you".

Not Sure How Many Days Are Left

Well - the dashboard on my Mac says there are 50 days left.  When I think about it that seems pretty short.  I can't tell you that it's an exact date because there are military variables I have to contend with.  His replacement gets there on March 6th. We'll see if he gets there on time.  The military can be unpredictable at times.  Izzy will have to train him.  Then he needs to take his gear to another country, then head to Germany to make sure he's ok to come home.  From there it's a commercial flight home to Sea-Tac.  My plan is to pick him up at the airport and stay with him for a few days and then he can come home on the weekend.  He's not scheduled to return to the bureau until the 22 of April.  He should have a little overlap due to paydays and such.
50 days seems the shortest and the longest time ever.
Talk to you soon.

OK, I know~ It's Been a While!

There seems to be a certain bit of anxiety in my air this week.
I should have posted earlier but there always seems to be something in the way.
Last night I was sure Al (my wonderful kitty of 13 years or so) was vomiting outside my bedroom door and he staggered into my room and collapsed in my closet.  Please don't think it cruel of me, but I thought if he died, it would be better if he died with me than in a cold unfeeling veterinary office.  I picked him up and listened to his breathing and his heart.  His breathing was a little shallow (I guess because I have never been formally trained in the veterinary arts) but his heartbeat was regular and strong. I held him until I fell asleep.  At some point I must have crawled back into bed but I don't remember it.  I know I was up with him until well after 2 am.  At 615 my internal clock said it was time to get up (either that or it was my need to pee) and my second thought was that if Al had passed away in the night I wouldn't want Bunny to find him that way.  I raised my head from the pillow and he was standing at the edge of my bed purring at me rather loudly.  I let him out of my room because if I needed to pee so did he.  I went to the bathroom and then crawled back into bed and he went about his merry day as if nothing was wrong.  He did the same kneading thing on my skin when I picked him up as he always does.  He ate, drank water, and didn't vomit or anything.  Who knows why things happen the way they do.
On another medical note -
I went to the surgeon a couple of days ago.  Yeah, I know another surgery... He said this would be a two hour operation to rebuild my right ankle.  It will take a couple of guide-wires, 4 screws and a "donor tendon graft" to put it together again.  I've been through the boot and then the brace.  Nothing.  When I pick up my foot when I'm walking it hangs in an uncomfortable way.  I also keep trying to help Bunny practice her ballet and tap steps and it hurts.  Not just hurt, but aches terribly when I sit cross-legged with Bunny or when I drive too.  This happened in the beginning of October. I had to quit school because I couldn't walk the campus for my classes.  I need it to be done already.  It's depressing.  I hate this body.  I am more than happy with my brain, but my body is a whole other issue.   It just lets me down when I need it.  I'm only 43 freaking years old and it acts like I've been skydiving for the last 20 years (no offense Kirk).  All my joints are shot and there is no reason it should have failed.  Not trying to whine, just keeping it real.  I'll keep posting if you will keep reading.
Thanks for being here.

Ballet and Such

Well - as you may have heard I signed Bunny up for ballet/tap lessons at Hollywood Dance at Mr. Y's request.  This is a conversation we have had many times over the last year.  He remembers his sister in her tutu and wanted Bunny to have the same exposure.  I agreed.  Why not right?
Well - she changed clothes in the community girls dressing room and got into her leotard.  I had all the appropriate attire in our special pink adidas bag.  I struggled with her hair.  It's so fine and "slippery" for putting into a bun.  I just left it in the pony and pins.  Thank goodness I wasn't the only mom with her girl in a pony only.
When it came time for the class I was just amazed by the grace of the instructor and Bunny's apparent lack of coordination.  The teacher would tell the students to move in a certain way and Bunny would go the other direction.  I really know she get's it from me.  I know she will be fine after a few lessons, but I know how painfully awkward she is because I'm that way every day.  My poor husband.  H really had no idea when he married me.  Not only am I a nerd, but I'm a clumsy nerd with her head in a book and two left feet!
I was really sick over the last couple of weeks.  I spent a couple of days on the couch and one where I literally couldn't get out of bed.  I didn't realize I could get that sick.  Kinda caused me to reevaluate my priorities.  I didn't clean my house or do anything.  I didn't even cook.  I wondered, if something actually happened to me, how would Bunny be taken care of?  I learned this morning that she can pour her own milk and reach the TV while standing on her tippy-toes.  I have nearly been rendered useless.  I also was too sick to pick out something at the store for her and when she asked me about it I told her I wanted her with me when I did it.  You know what she told me? She said "You know Mom, someday you will have to learn to do these things by yourself."  I just about died!  She has incredible insight for a kid of 5.
Thanks for letting me share this with you.

So Much for Trying to Surprise Him.

After four days with no communications from Mr. Y, I finally received an e-mail from him telling me he had been sick.  He stayed in bed for a couple of days and was dehydrated and had an elevated heart rate and blood pressure.  Funny - I woke up in the middle of the night with a 103 fever and felt horrible too.  Today I have a migraine and feel pretty crappy.  I think I have the flu.  Hope Bunny doesn't get it.
Mr. Y received a communication from USAA (our auto insurance) and it showed the policy change for the new car.  So much for trying to surprise him.
When I feel better I will try to write more.  Right now I feel like crap.
Goodnight/Goodmorning depending on where you are.

New Year's Day

The holidays are officially over now.  This was a quick Christmas.  Not sure why it flew by so quickly, but it did.  I received a beautiful Pandora bracelet from Chris. The kids got me cool things also.  Marissa and Zack gave me a pair of aqua globes to keep the plants watered.  Michael & Tasha gave me a necklace and earrings set.  They are black and silver.  Colors I really like together.  Billy & Meagan gave me a mini cupcake maker.  I can't wait to play with it and make muffins or cupcakes.
It was good to see Z here with Mimi.  They're good friends and she missed him while he was in Afghanistan.  That was a good present.
New Year's Eve passed without any "official" celebration because Sarah was sick.  She's been sick for a week.  I hope she's better by the end of the weekend because school starts back up on Monday.
Yesterday I thought it would be the best idea to buy another car.  Christopher and I have talked about it for the last several months.  The lease would expire in May and we hadn't quite figured out what to do to address it. I decided a car with a better resale value would be the wise choice.  I loved my silver Jetta, but I would have loved one with leather and a sunroof and alloy wheels and the touch-screen system. I got it this time.  I haven't told Mr. Y. yet.  I want to surprise him with it in Seattle.  He'll be pretty excited.
Thanks for letting me tell you all of these things.  There are so many details that I'm going to leave out for now. :)