Demons

There are a lot of demons in this world.  I have mine and most of you have yours.  They come from different places and at different times.
A large part of me believes these are here for a reason.  My friend Pegi told me she thinks the reason I fell down the stairs was that it was "God's way of telling you to slow down Kat".  She may be right.
Slowing down terrifies me.  Not the kind of fear some people experience when they are startled by a noise in the night, but the kind of fear that feels like an ending.  An ending to what?  I have no idea.
Time is my demon.  It haunts me daily.  It is the reason I try to finish the dishes before bed; to get the house cleaned and to fix my hair or face.  You see, these things don't really matter.  They don't matter at all, but they are part of this machine called life that runs on a clock.  Everything we do is tied to "time".  Every deadline set by the boss; every sales forecast, and every homework assignment set by the instructors.  It's all about time and how fast can you get it done.  What did you get out of it?  Did you get paid by the hour? By the job?  Did you get that "A" on the assignment and was it turned in before the deadline?
Time is my enemy and my friend.  I'm wishing my day away. When tomorrow comes to an end, I will wish that day away as well.  Getting through the each day has become the game.  I'm studying for the CPC exam, writing this blog, paying the bills running errands and taking care of the family  ~ all so I can get through the day.
There are so many things I could complain about, but that isn't what this vehicle is for.  This is for keeping track of the time in days, not complaints.  I have a personal log for that.  This isn't a diary as much as it is a log to remind me where we were today.
It's 10:23 am on Friday the 29th of October.  I'm going to Sarah's school today and watch the Halloween parade and see my beautiful daughter dressed in her costume.  I'm going to take pictures for Chris to see. I will post them on Picasa Web.  I'm going to have dinner with my family tonight and then sleep early so tomorrow will hurry up and get here and maybe there will be that 15 minute morale call in there.  That is the only time I wish the clock could slow down.
You see, I don't get to pick and choose how fast the clock should tick by.  I get to watch the second hand  and know this is another thing in this world that I have no control over.  Some people say to have faith.  The clock keeps ticking regardless of what faith I do or do not have.  It's just that time is my demon to wrestle with.