Today is Halloween and Sarah's costume is on. She is ready to face the darkness with her siblings so she can rake in the hordes of candy and be frightened by the other goblin's of the world.
The kids took her to Abuelita's home for treats and then it will be time for the obligatory dose of protein before darkness falls. Tons of trick-or-treating ahead. If the weather holds out, there will be no rain to dampen the spirits of the night. Wish Mr. Y was here to enjoy this night with us.
I must say - I miss him. More lately than most. I'm not really sure what the change is/was, but I definitely miss his company. He called last night (it was the 30th for us and the 31st for him) so we wished him a Happy Halloween. Sarah was able to talk to him on Skype for a few minutes before she had to go to bed.
It's always good for me to talk to him. I am recharged for the draining week ahead of me.
Right now the house is quiet. The dog is asleep in the chair and the cats are hiding in the bedroom because the vacuum scares them. The house is relatively clean and I have a chance to reflect on my day. It was a good day. Tonight the goblins will be out and I am armed with a full bowl of candy.
Have a Spooky Halloween! You are loved more than you know ~ All of you!
Izzy's Armored Truck
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Demons
There are a lot of demons in this world. I have mine and most of you have yours. They come from different places and at different times.
A large part of me believes these are here for a reason. My friend Pegi told me she thinks the reason I fell down the stairs was that it was "God's way of telling you to slow down Kat". She may be right.
Slowing down terrifies me. Not the kind of fear some people experience when they are startled by a noise in the night, but the kind of fear that feels like an ending. An ending to what? I have no idea.
Time is my demon. It haunts me daily. It is the reason I try to finish the dishes before bed; to get the house cleaned and to fix my hair or face. You see, these things don't really matter. They don't matter at all, but they are part of this machine called life that runs on a clock. Everything we do is tied to "time". Every deadline set by the boss; every sales forecast, and every homework assignment set by the instructors. It's all about time and how fast can you get it done. What did you get out of it? Did you get paid by the hour? By the job? Did you get that "A" on the assignment and was it turned in before the deadline?
Time is my enemy and my friend. I'm wishing my day away. When tomorrow comes to an end, I will wish that day away as well. Getting through the each day has become the game. I'm studying for the CPC exam, writing this blog, paying the bills running errands and taking care of the family ~ all so I can get through the day.
There are so many things I could complain about, but that isn't what this vehicle is for. This is for keeping track of the time in days, not complaints. I have a personal log for that. This isn't a diary as much as it is a log to remind me where we were today.
It's 10:23 am on Friday the 29th of October. I'm going to Sarah's school today and watch the Halloween parade and see my beautiful daughter dressed in her costume. I'm going to take pictures for Chris to see. I will post them on Picasa Web. I'm going to have dinner with my family tonight and then sleep early so tomorrow will hurry up and get here and maybe there will be that 15 minute morale call in there. That is the only time I wish the clock could slow down.
You see, I don't get to pick and choose how fast the clock should tick by. I get to watch the second hand and know this is another thing in this world that I have no control over. Some people say to have faith. The clock keeps ticking regardless of what faith I do or do not have. It's just that time is my demon to wrestle with.
A large part of me believes these are here for a reason. My friend Pegi told me she thinks the reason I fell down the stairs was that it was "God's way of telling you to slow down Kat". She may be right.
Slowing down terrifies me. Not the kind of fear some people experience when they are startled by a noise in the night, but the kind of fear that feels like an ending. An ending to what? I have no idea.
Time is my demon. It haunts me daily. It is the reason I try to finish the dishes before bed; to get the house cleaned and to fix my hair or face. You see, these things don't really matter. They don't matter at all, but they are part of this machine called life that runs on a clock. Everything we do is tied to "time". Every deadline set by the boss; every sales forecast, and every homework assignment set by the instructors. It's all about time and how fast can you get it done. What did you get out of it? Did you get paid by the hour? By the job? Did you get that "A" on the assignment and was it turned in before the deadline?
Time is my enemy and my friend. I'm wishing my day away. When tomorrow comes to an end, I will wish that day away as well. Getting through the each day has become the game. I'm studying for the CPC exam, writing this blog, paying the bills running errands and taking care of the family ~ all so I can get through the day.
There are so many things I could complain about, but that isn't what this vehicle is for. This is for keeping track of the time in days, not complaints. I have a personal log for that. This isn't a diary as much as it is a log to remind me where we were today.
It's 10:23 am on Friday the 29th of October. I'm going to Sarah's school today and watch the Halloween parade and see my beautiful daughter dressed in her costume. I'm going to take pictures for Chris to see. I will post them on Picasa Web. I'm going to have dinner with my family tonight and then sleep early so tomorrow will hurry up and get here and maybe there will be that 15 minute morale call in there. That is the only time I wish the clock could slow down.
You see, I don't get to pick and choose how fast the clock should tick by. I get to watch the second hand and know this is another thing in this world that I have no control over. Some people say to have faith. The clock keeps ticking regardless of what faith I do or do not have. It's just that time is my demon to wrestle with.
Friday, October 22, 2010
It's Just Another Day
I would like to think yesterday was just another day. It was my birthday, but that wasn't the difficult part for me, the difficult part for me was that he wasn't there. I know I'm a big girl, but I just needed to whine a little bit.
I wanted to share the picture of the beautiful flowers he sent me. Aren't they quirky? Cool too though! He called me for a "morale call" just as the flowers were arriving. It was bedtime for him, but he wanted to make sure he was able to talk to me on my birthday. That phone call meant more to me than anything.
I'm adding my birthday to the list of days to celebrate when he returns. He will have more than a week of days to celebrate. There will be Sarah's birthday, mine, his sister's, the twins', Mimi's, his mother's, my father's and his own. That doesn't include Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, our 12th anniversary, or Valentine's day. I'm not sure what we'll do because it would mean 8 different birthday cakes, an anniversary cake and a box of chocolates. Way more than any family needs.
I'm planning a HUGE welcome home party for him. I don't have an exact return date. He told me the end of March. That sounds like a wonderful time for a party.
You will join me for this won't you?
Thanks for being there for me. I appreciate all of you very much!
I'm adding my birthday to the list of days to celebrate when he returns. He will have more than a week of days to celebrate. There will be Sarah's birthday, mine, his sister's, the twins', Mimi's, his mother's, my father's and his own. That doesn't include Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, our 12th anniversary, or Valentine's day. I'm not sure what we'll do because it would mean 8 different birthday cakes, an anniversary cake and a box of chocolates. Way more than any family needs.
I'm planning a HUGE welcome home party for him. I don't have an exact return date. He told me the end of March. That sounds like a wonderful time for a party.
You will join me for this won't you?
Thanks for being there for me. I appreciate all of you very much!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Change in My Comfort Level
Sarah spent the night at Abuelita's house last night. I was apprehensive about her staying because I wasn't sure she was ready for that. It was the first for both Abuelita and me. Sarah has spent the weekend with Billy and Meagan before, so being away from me wasn't really a big deal to her. Glad she was so comfortable.
Well, when I thought I was able to be comfortable with Mr. Y. being in the green zone, he goes and tells me he does his share of traveling outside the green zone to perform inspections. I really don't know what that means, but it means he is in an armored vehicle and outside the safe area. I can guarantee it changed my level of comfort.
I spoke with him on Skype once at home and once at Abuelita's house. Both Lisa and Abuelita were part of the conversation and it was nice for them to both see and talk to him. The connections speed was very slow, and toward the end the call was dropped twice. I told Abuelita that the best time to be looking on Skype was either in the morning or the evening because of the time difference.
It helped me to talk to him. We've always had effortless conversations. We're like best friends. It's very easy to joke and laugh with him. I hope he feels like I do about it. I miss the conversation and the ribbing we give each other.
It might be another week before we talk again, but I am a little more recharged than I was this last week. I will just have to miss him until we talk again.
Have a great week!
Well, when I thought I was able to be comfortable with Mr. Y. being in the green zone, he goes and tells me he does his share of traveling outside the green zone to perform inspections. I really don't know what that means, but it means he is in an armored vehicle and outside the safe area. I can guarantee it changed my level of comfort.
I spoke with him on Skype once at home and once at Abuelita's house. Both Lisa and Abuelita were part of the conversation and it was nice for them to both see and talk to him. The connections speed was very slow, and toward the end the call was dropped twice. I told Abuelita that the best time to be looking on Skype was either in the morning or the evening because of the time difference.
It helped me to talk to him. We've always had effortless conversations. We're like best friends. It's very easy to joke and laugh with him. I hope he feels like I do about it. I miss the conversation and the ribbing we give each other.
It might be another week before we talk again, but I am a little more recharged than I was this last week. I will just have to miss him until we talk again.
Have a great week!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Phone Call From OSI
I know if you read the previous post about the bomb threat at school you would have understood the stress it caused me. Let me tell you, it just got worse from there.
Mimi and I were in the dining room and we were just talking when the land-line phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was MCChord AFB. My heart rate just doubled. I know - panic for nothing right?
It was Mr. Y.'s boss from OSI. The first question he asked me was if anyone from OSI had contacted me. WHAT? What's that supposed to mean? Of course my heart-rate doubled again. I think it was beating so fast it could have jumped out of my chest. I told him "no" and I was very hesitant about the answer. Why should they have called me? Was something wrong? I just spoke with Mr. Y. last night on a morale call. There is a 11.5 hr time difference between PDX and Kabul. They are ahead. When he called me last night it was already Friday morning. This means (I have this internal dialogue is going on while I am trying to maintain composure) that anything could have happened between the time he called me and the time his boss was calling me.
OK - so I'm not trying to freak out and Mimi is looking at me and mouthing the words "who is it?" I mouth back the words "OSI and she's nearly on her feet with panic, So am I, but I'm trying really hard not to freak out. Slayton goes on to tell me he has Mr. Y.'s body armor. Then I'm freaking out a little more and ask if he was there in country without it. I was reassured that he has heavy body armor for his tour there and the one Slayton was speaking of was what the OSI uses for local missions.
OK - I feel better. Wait - No I don't!
He then asked me if I knew where is was. Since he deployed out from the east coast, Slayton didn't know what date he would arrive in country. Also since Mr. Y. isn't assigned to the McChord unit, they don't have any paperwork on him. They just happened to receive his vest because he was at McChord for pre-deployment training when he ordered it. It makes sense. Maybe not to you, but it does to me.
I gave him the out date and then Slayton wanted to apologize that no one else had contacted me from OSI. I should know how this goes by now. I told him that the phone number he called from was a familiar one and since I knew where the call originated from it worried me. He assured me that if he was calling, it would be a good thing. Showing up in person however, was not a good thing.
Slayton asked me if I had his card with his personal cell number and I assured him I did. He reminded me I should call him day or night if I was having any problems. I thanked him and then hung up. I can't tell you how stressed I was; and today couldn't have been worse. Exam at 0800, bomb threat at 1130 and then this. The good part about today was that I was able to have dinner with Abuelita, Mikey, Tasha, and Sarah. Then Billy, Sarah and I put a puzzle together after dark.
Tomorrow is sure to be a better day!
Stick with me for this OK? Talk to you then!
Mimi and I were in the dining room and we were just talking when the land-line phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was MCChord AFB. My heart rate just doubled. I know - panic for nothing right?
It was Mr. Y.'s boss from OSI. The first question he asked me was if anyone from OSI had contacted me. WHAT? What's that supposed to mean? Of course my heart-rate doubled again. I think it was beating so fast it could have jumped out of my chest. I told him "no" and I was very hesitant about the answer. Why should they have called me? Was something wrong? I just spoke with Mr. Y. last night on a morale call. There is a 11.5 hr time difference between PDX and Kabul. They are ahead. When he called me last night it was already Friday morning. This means (I have this internal dialogue is going on while I am trying to maintain composure) that anything could have happened between the time he called me and the time his boss was calling me.
OK - so I'm not trying to freak out and Mimi is looking at me and mouthing the words "who is it?" I mouth back the words "OSI and she's nearly on her feet with panic, So am I, but I'm trying really hard not to freak out. Slayton goes on to tell me he has Mr. Y.'s body armor. Then I'm freaking out a little more and ask if he was there in country without it. I was reassured that he has heavy body armor for his tour there and the one Slayton was speaking of was what the OSI uses for local missions.
OK - I feel better. Wait - No I don't!
He then asked me if I knew where is was. Since he deployed out from the east coast, Slayton didn't know what date he would arrive in country. Also since Mr. Y. isn't assigned to the McChord unit, they don't have any paperwork on him. They just happened to receive his vest because he was at McChord for pre-deployment training when he ordered it. It makes sense. Maybe not to you, but it does to me.
I gave him the out date and then Slayton wanted to apologize that no one else had contacted me from OSI. I should know how this goes by now. I told him that the phone number he called from was a familiar one and since I knew where the call originated from it worried me. He assured me that if he was calling, it would be a good thing. Showing up in person however, was not a good thing.
Slayton asked me if I had his card with his personal cell number and I assured him I did. He reminded me I should call him day or night if I was having any problems. I thanked him and then hung up. I can't tell you how stressed I was; and today couldn't have been worse. Exam at 0800, bomb threat at 1130 and then this. The good part about today was that I was able to have dinner with Abuelita, Mikey, Tasha, and Sarah. Then Billy, Sarah and I put a puzzle together after dark.
Tomorrow is sure to be a better day!
Stick with me for this OK? Talk to you then!
Unusual Events Make for Interesting Conversation
Today was a busy day for me. Tonight will be no different. If you live in the Portland Metro area then you might have heard MHCC evacuated their campus today due to a bomb threat. I was in the computer lab and the alarm went off. "This is not a drill. Please evacuate immediately. Take your personal belongings and evacuate immediately. This is not a drill!" I was able to get someone to tell me what was going on at the school and there was a bomb threat. They were taking it seriously. There were 2 Gresham Fire trucks and at least 6 Gresham Police cars.
I have a different feeling about these things than the average public. The average public thinks this is nothing more than a reason to get out of class for a few minutes. To me it means an IED in a safe-place and could harm me. I think of this differently than most of you because of where Mr. Y. is. IED's in Afghanistan are common, here, not so much. Do you remember the bomb that went off in the bank in Woodburn a last year? It killed a couple of the local police. Why is it that most people don't take these seriously as I do? I don't know. The idea of pink mist kinda grosses me out. Maybe people are under the assumption that nothing will happen to them. I don't know why though. Don't you remember when the teacher told you to "never assume it makes an ass out of you and me."
Maybe we should remember that none of us are replaceable!
I have a different feeling about these things than the average public. The average public thinks this is nothing more than a reason to get out of class for a few minutes. To me it means an IED in a safe-place and could harm me. I think of this differently than most of you because of where Mr. Y. is. IED's in Afghanistan are common, here, not so much. Do you remember the bomb that went off in the bank in Woodburn a last year? It killed a couple of the local police. Why is it that most people don't take these seriously as I do? I don't know. The idea of pink mist kinda grosses me out. Maybe people are under the assumption that nothing will happen to them. I don't know why though. Don't you remember when the teacher told you to "never assume it makes an ass out of you and me."
Maybe we should remember that none of us are replaceable!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
It's Been a While
It's been about a week since I posted so I thought I would give you all a quick update on what is happening with me and the family.
Since my last post I have joined the AAPC (American Association of Professional Coders) and have scheduled myself to take the certification exam. When (Notice that I didn't say "if") I pass the exam I will be considered an apprentice. I just need the rest of the experience to finish this and become a Professional Coder. This process hasn't been cheap. My books have cost me about $500.00 and the exam and membership to the professional organization were another $370.00. That cost doesn't even include the cost of the classes at MHCC. That series included three separate 4-credit courses. I just need an internship to give me the experience I need, then I will have it in the bag. Yay for me!
Communication with Mr. Y. has been significantly reduced from the last deployment he made to Afghanistan. I spoke with him weekly last deployment, and this time it is about every two weeks. The skype connection has been slow and therefore, it can only be "without video" to avoid connection interruption. I would love just to talk with him over the phone, but that will happen when it happens. The strange thing is Bunny has stopped asking for him. I thought it might happen, but I wasn't prepared for how sad it would make me. I have noticed a difference in Sarah's attitude in the last week. Maybe it is easier for her to just be frustrated with everything else and that's how she has been dealing with it. There have been so many transitions for her over the last couple of months that there is no way a sane person could prevent being crabby. I'm really trying to give her a very stable environment so she knows what the predictability of events will be. Some of you might think these things are very routine, but when other things in your life have been interrupted, routine is comforting.
We have school M-F and then on Friday afternoon/evening we go to dinner with Abuelita. On Sunday morning we go to church and then have donuts in the rectory afterward. we do homework before the TV ever gets turned on (yes, even the kindergartner's get homework daily). In between these chore-like activities we have to do some fun things like go to the park to play on the swings, play cards and all the other silly games she likes to play. These things make her life predictable. I didn't say all of them were fun, but they are all necessary for our family.
We haven't worked on the garage in the last two weeks because we allowed the concrete to cure. Now we will order the rest of the lumber and get the walls and ceiling started. We will have this finished before December and hopefully we will have the floor poured before Mr. Y comes home. As soon as I have new pictures to post to Picasa-Web I will post them for all of you to see the progress we have made. I need to stress the "WE" of this operation because we have had help. Sully, Dad, Mikey, Billy, Zack and Mimi have all helped. Yes, I did help too.
Well, back to the studying. Have a great day and know that I love you very much and am so glad to be sharing this with you!
Since my last post I have joined the AAPC (American Association of Professional Coders) and have scheduled myself to take the certification exam. When (Notice that I didn't say "if") I pass the exam I will be considered an apprentice. I just need the rest of the experience to finish this and become a Professional Coder. This process hasn't been cheap. My books have cost me about $500.00 and the exam and membership to the professional organization were another $370.00. That cost doesn't even include the cost of the classes at MHCC. That series included three separate 4-credit courses. I just need an internship to give me the experience I need, then I will have it in the bag. Yay for me!
Communication with Mr. Y. has been significantly reduced from the last deployment he made to Afghanistan. I spoke with him weekly last deployment, and this time it is about every two weeks. The skype connection has been slow and therefore, it can only be "without video" to avoid connection interruption. I would love just to talk with him over the phone, but that will happen when it happens. The strange thing is Bunny has stopped asking for him. I thought it might happen, but I wasn't prepared for how sad it would make me. I have noticed a difference in Sarah's attitude in the last week. Maybe it is easier for her to just be frustrated with everything else and that's how she has been dealing with it. There have been so many transitions for her over the last couple of months that there is no way a sane person could prevent being crabby. I'm really trying to give her a very stable environment so she knows what the predictability of events will be. Some of you might think these things are very routine, but when other things in your life have been interrupted, routine is comforting.
We have school M-F and then on Friday afternoon/evening we go to dinner with Abuelita. On Sunday morning we go to church and then have donuts in the rectory afterward. we do homework before the TV ever gets turned on (yes, even the kindergartner's get homework daily). In between these chore-like activities we have to do some fun things like go to the park to play on the swings, play cards and all the other silly games she likes to play. These things make her life predictable. I didn't say all of them were fun, but they are all necessary for our family.
We haven't worked on the garage in the last two weeks because we allowed the concrete to cure. Now we will order the rest of the lumber and get the walls and ceiling started. We will have this finished before December and hopefully we will have the floor poured before Mr. Y comes home. As soon as I have new pictures to post to Picasa-Web I will post them for all of you to see the progress we have made. I need to stress the "WE" of this operation because we have had help. Sully, Dad, Mikey, Billy, Zack and Mimi have all helped. Yes, I did help too.
Well, back to the studying. Have a great day and know that I love you very much and am so glad to be sharing this with you!
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